Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Chapter 4





“DAMMIT! THEY’RE SHOOTING at us!” Bozius yelled as the three of them ran from the guard tower leading to the Queen’s Parkway.

Arrows and bolts were flying hither and yon as the party scrambled desperately to evade the attack. Matters were made worse by the fact that there were three men to two horses, with Rory having drawn the short straw and earning the inexperienced Rafule as a passenger. The attack was almost immediate upon the trio’s attempt to cross the checkpoint between Appleton Heights and the access ramp to the Queen’s Parkway. It didn’t help much that having been rejected access due to not belonging to the noble class, Rory & Company decided to attempt a mad dash across the barriers and take the Parkway with speed.

Apparently the guards at the gate had dealt with such endeavors in the past.

“I think they were ready for us to try that, Bozy,” Rory quipped as he attempted to steer his horse away from the rain of puncturing death.

“You don’t say!” Bozy snapped, his horse leaping wildly about as the party attempted their escape.

“At least you got it easy,” Rory squeaked out through shallow breaths, “you’ve got Lightning!”

“What?” Bozius retorted. “You’ve got Lightning, I’ve got Thunder.”

“How can you tell?” Rory asked, feeling a stream of air rush past his ear in the wake of a flying arrow. “They look the same to me…”

“Lighting is the black one!”

“Now, there’s the issue right there!” Rory considered. “Shouldn’t Lightning be the white horse? And Thunder the black?”

“We are not having this conversation right now, Rory!”

“Seriously, though, think about it. If lightning were dark, we couldn’t see it, now could we? And how about that time in Bonatrouse when we had those cocktails? They were called White Lightning, weren’t they?”

“You mean the drinks we had right before the angry mob of vengeful husbands tried to kill you?” Bozius asked. “I dunno, Rory. But if we live past these next five minutes, I’ll be sure to head back there and find out.”

“Hya, Thunder, hya!” Rory called, kicking his black horse to a gallop.

“You’re riding Lightning, for the love of—bah, forget it!” Bozius gave up.

“What do you think, kid?” Rory asked.

“I don’t want to die!” Rafule screamed.

“Then start blasting them with fireballs!”

As if suddenly struck with that very realization, Rafule raised one had to the sky. Unable to see his passenger, Rory could still tell that magic was in the air. The temperature around him was increasing, as if Rafule was heating up the very atmosphere around them. That was when the Pirate of Vimiland was struck with a new genius plan.

“Bozy, about face!” Rory directed as he brought his horse—Thunder? Or is this one Lightning?—around in a wide arc. “We’ve got a doll to catch!”

“This is getting added to the list of dumb ideas…” Bozius muttered, though he still brought his horse around for a return strike.

“You keep a list?” Rory was flattered. “Rafule, make a door!”

“It’s too bouncy…” the boy whimpered.

“We don’t have time for this,” Rory was kicking his horse into a full-on mad gallop.

“It’s hard to aim…”

“Who said anything about precision?” Rory asked. “Can you make it really big?”

“How big?”

“Ginormous!” Bozious hollered.

“I think so…”

“Then go big, Raffy,” Rory smiled. “Go big!”

In the moments that followed, Rory wasn’t sure if the world around him went dark, or if the force flashing forth from Rafule’s hand was just brighter than the sun itself, but either way it was all magic. Unlike the spire of flame that Rafule nearly struck Rory with just the previous morning, this had no beauty or sculpture to it, let alone direction. A widespread cone of fire spread before them, and Rory was pretty sure that any misstep at this point would immediately result in him being roasted alive. Tightening his grip on the reigns, the pirate made a wish that everything would go perfect.

And for a blink of an instant, it all did.

The twin guard towers swirled into infernos of screaming death, with archers leaping two stories to the ground, choosing broken bones over smoldering flesh. The gates burst away under the sheer magnitude of Rafule Charsbic’s magical power. Travelers and guards alike ran for their lives, desperate to escape the hellish fury that relentlessly sprang forth from the hands of a scared teenaged boy. Bozius’s white stallion leapt forth to lead the way, ignorant of the raging inferno blazing all around. Rory and Rafule followed on their black steed, and escape was within their grasp.

Then Rafule began vomiting endlessly and fell off of the horse.

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” Rory cursed as he brought his charger to a hault. “Bozius, man down!”

“Leave him!”

“We can’t do that!”

Rory wasn’t quite sure what his friend grumbled next, but it sounded faintly like, “Dammit! All a man wants is some peace and quiet and sex…”

Rory leapt down from the horse and ran to the young wizard’s aid. The boy finally stopped puking—hopefully—but couldn’t rise to his feet under his own power. Rory attempted to help, but discovered his own strength failing him.

“Give him here, you weak little girl,” Bozius bawked, tossing the woozy boy over his shoulder. “Puke on me, kid, and I will gut you! Rory, get on Lightning.”

“Which one is—”

“The black one!” Bozius screamed. “The black one that you’ve been riding all this time! The one right there!”

Rory climbed up and Bozius laid Rafule’s limp form across Rory’s lap. At this time, a small group of confused and leary guards and citizens were massing nearby. Rory turned to look at them.

“Um…” time seemed to be of the essence here. “Another victory for the Cache of the Hand!” Twice in two days, he thought. I really hate that stupid name!

“Cache of the Hand?” an old man repeated. “You bastards!”

“Yeah! We hate the Cache of the Hand!” added another voice, and soon the whole mob was taking up the anti-Hand chant.

“Hey, fearless leader, good work,” Bozius called over from his horse. “Now can we please leave before they realize you’re a liar?”

“Ah, yes, right, Bozius, good plan,” Rory looked down at Rafule before kicked his horse into motion. “Don’t puke on me, kid. This shirt is silk.”

The remnants of Rafule’s destruction settled to ash as the last remaining flames licked at the air. Hopefully, this Golden Doll was going to be worth all this trouble.

* * *


THE SUN WAS shining, birds were chirping, the horses were sweating, and Rafule stunk like vomit; all in all, Rory considered the day thus far a success. He wasn’t proud of the fact that a restless night spent with Starla at the Broken Spoke blew his chance to steal the Golden Doll with ease, but Rory surely didn’t regret the night as a whole. That woman could do things with her body that seemed impossible to the imagination…

Still, the mission was still on. Sweeping in and stealing the Golden Doll from Lord Wordsly now was going to be quite the dilemma—after all, he had a large armed escort with him—but not at all impossible—after all, he had a large armed escort with him last time. The important issue now was devising a plan to accomplish this goal, sans magic. I wonder if passing out from the mental and physical stress of launching the Apocalypse upon two guard towers constitutes as a nap, Rory pondered, hoping that when Rafule finally awoke from his coma he could cast another spell. That sure would be nice…

“This is stupid,” Bozius piped in, bringing Rory’s thoughts back into reality with a crash. “Wordsly’s gonna have guards, Rory. Probably more now that he knows people are after his stupid doll.”

“Stupid?” Rory asked. “Bozy, what’s stupid about a solid gold doll is that we don’t currently possess it. I assure you, it won’t seem so stupid when we’re swimming in a pool full of money!”

“Rory, how do you expect to pull this one off? There’s two of us!”

“We’ve got Rafule…”

Bozius looked at Rory for a brief moment, then quickly returned his eyes to the road. “There’s two of us, and who knows how many of them.”

“You saw the body back in the forest,” Rory put in. “Wordsly’s guards are worthless.”

“You bring up a good point, Rory, I’m sorry, yes,” Bozius stated, reigning Thunder in to a hault. “The Cache of the Hand attacked Wordsly and killed his men!”

“I really wish we could call them something else,” Rory pleaded. “Seriously, I know it’s supposed to sound like cash, and it’s cute because their thieves, but really? Can’t we just call them the Hand?”

“That might get confused too easily with Dante the Hand,” Bozius countered thoughtfully.

“That bandit with the one arm?” Rory asked. “I thought he retired.”

“Oh no, he robbed some beggars outside of Trivelva just last week.”

“Beggars? Really, the man stole from beggars?”

“He’s got one arm, Rory!”

“Then he should retire!”

The two friends sat atop their horses for a bit in silent contemplation. A bee hovered nearby but continued on its merry way, and Rafule groaned a bit but did not wake up.

“What were we talking about?” Rory asked, dumfounded.

“That this heist is a stupid idea and we should go somewhere else,” Bozius answered. “Not just ‘cause we’re trying to steal something from a heavily guarded nobleman, but if we get caught on the Queen’s Parkway, we’ll be tossed into some dungeon somewhere for sure! Only nobles are supposed to be here!”

“Oh, Bozy, you worry a bit too much,” Rory smiled, nudging his horse into motion. “Rafule’s going to wake up any minute now, rejuvenated and ready to set victory into motion in a blaze of glory!”

“He’s not sleeping, Rory, he’s unconscious!” Bozy stated. “And, as long as we’re talking about it, I don’t feel comfortable with this. I don’t want to go down in a blaze of glory! How can we trust some kid who can throw fire from his hands?”

“He’s on our side, he likes us,” Rory replied, almost patting the sleeping boy’s head but changing his mind last minute upon noticing chunks of vomit sitting in Rafule’s hair. Rory settled for patting the teenager on the shoulder instead. “He needs a role model, is all. I nominate you.”

“I ain’t no baby-sitter,” Bozius argued.

“Never thought you could be, Bozy,” Rory muttered. “But you could mentor the boy, show him what it means to be a man.”

“He wants to be a man? That’s easy! Let’s leave him here to fend for himself. That’ll make a man of him real quick!”

“Bozy, don’t be ridic—wait…” Rory’s thoughts drifted off as he brought Lighting to a stop.

“What is it?” Bozius asked, before seeing for himself. “Oh…”

Several hundred yards ahead, cresting over one of the Queen’s rolling summits, was Lord Wordsly and his retinue. The Parkway was, for the most part, a long, flat bridge, but having to accommodate for the rolling foothills that were the Bumperton Hills, the Queen’s Parkway occasionally rolled with the terrain. The inclines were slight, but enough to offer Rory and his friends some cover at this distance. Nevertheless, they would soon enough be discovered, if they hadn’t already.

“So much for the element of surprise,” Bozius spat. “Wake the kid up!”

“I thought you didn’t trust him?” Rory quipped.

“No use in carrying his dead weight around,” Bozius muttered. “If we’re going to do this, I want to at least have a little bit of fire leading the way. Blaze of glory and all that stupid nonsense. I’m glad I got to do a Transcontinental Swordfish one last time…”

“A transcontinental…” Rory was both confused and intrigued. “What exactly did you do with those girls last night?”

“It involves five willing participants, a few pints of jelly, two blind folds, some candles, and a very lucky me,” Bozius summed all matter-of-factly as if it should be common knowledge. “After that, it gets complicated.”

“Hell, we have to survive this!” Rory proclaimed. “I want a transcontinental sword fight!”

“Swordfish, Rory,” Bozius corrected. “Unless you’re looking for seven very willing men.”

“Seven? Why does the Sword Fight have more?”

“Can you focus, please!”

“Right, Bozy, right,” Rory agreed. “But after this, I want explanations. Rafule!” Rory started slapping the boy in the face. “Wake up, my legs are numb!”

“Mama?” Rafule grumbled as he slowly came to. “Can we have pancakes for dinner?”

“What? No, foolish boy, wake up,” Rory demanded. “Quit dreaming, we need your skills. Although pancakes do sound better than cold chicken and warm beer…”

Rafule looked up at Rory, around at his surroundings, and seemed to be waking up. Then he dropped his head back down and puked again.

“Ah, that’s it! Off!” Rory shouted, pushing the boy to the road.

“Yes, good idea, just in case they didn’t see us yet,” Bozius was shaking his head.

Rafule puked and gagged a bit, his face was pale and eyes bloodshot, but other than that he seemed to be okay. Rory checked for puke stains on his clothes and then made sure that the boy missed the horse. All seemed well.

“Have a nice nap?” Rory inquired.

“What?” Rafule asked. “No. What happened?”

“Fire and brimstone and then you blacked out like a drunk sissy,” Bozius recapped.

“All class, Bozy,” Rory said.

“It’s all I know how to be,” Bozius replied dryly.

“Wait? I passed out?” Rafule reached his hands out for balance, catching himself on Lightning’s dark black flanks. “I never cast anything that powerful before! Looks like it worked, right? I mean, we got out of there, huh?”

“Yes, yes, all is well, good job,” Rory rushed along. “But now that we’re awake, we need you to work your magic on those men up ahead.”

Rafule looked up at Rory with a baffled expression on his face. “But I can’t.”

“Sure you can, piece of cake,” Rory corrected. “Just hop back up here, we’ll ride out, and you’ll torch Lord Wordsly for all the injustice he has shown you. Everyhing will be splendid and we’ll all be rich!”

“No, Rory, you don’t understand,” Rafule stated. “It’s not like I was sleeping. I lost consciousness from the magnitude of the spell I cast. I’m lucky to be alive! I’m going to need a full night’s rest—hopefully in a comfortable bed—before I’ll be able to cast anything.”

Rory felt his fortune slipping away like sand through his fingers. All the grandiose possibilities to do all the insane things that only a horse-cart full of freshly minted bobbies could afford, all vanquished with two simple words: I can’t.

Bozius sighed heavily. “Does Wordsly know you can throw fire out of your hands?”

“Yes, of course,” Rafule answered. “That’s why he hired me.”

“And does he know that you just rained red hot death back at Appleton?”

“No, how could he…”

Rory met eyes with Bozius, and suddenly found himself on the same page as his muscle-bound friend. “Bozy, I like the way you think!”

* * *

LORD WORDSLY’S RETINUE was in sight, cresting one of the final rolls of the Queen’s Parkway before the road took on a flattened pitch into the Crescent Mountains. Rory, Bozius, and Rafule were fast approaching from behind, charging hard so as to be heard by the rear guard. This plan started to take on more similarities to running headlong into the gaping mouth of a dragon, but it was the only plan they had, and was quickly becoming the only option available.

The pounding hooves of Thunder and Lightning surely had the intended effect, as several guards from Lord Wordsly’s entourage—some on foot, some on horseback, all armed to the teeth—fanned out to create a defensive wall, the cart carrying the nobleman himself drifting further ahead along the highway to take up a further protected position.

“Bear no further, strangers,” shouted a man on horseback whose helmet was adorned with a long, puffy tassel. Apparently this frilly decoration was how Wordsly identified his officers. The olive green and soft beige colors of the lieutenant’s wardrobe made it quite difficult to take the man seriously, but Rory listened to his loftily-worded proclamation nonetheless. “Another step and we shall open fire upon you!”

Rory and Bozius brought their horses to an abrupt stop, bringing them whinnying up on their hind legs. From the looks in the eyes of the guards, this apparently had the effect Rory was hoping for; he and his comrades looked large and mysterious, proficient and threatening. As the horses came down, Rory turned the flank of Lightning towards the guards, to make his great reveal.

“Sir, I believe you know my associate,” Rory suggested, with Rafule sitting behind him in his gleaming white robes. I think I understand a little more why the kid wears such ridiculous clothes, Rory thought.

“Charsbic?” The lieutenant recalled, struggling now to keep his horse from teetering back and forth. The man may not have wanted to believe his eyes, but it was doubtful that his beast forgot about seeing a boy throwing fireballs around. “But we—”

“Left him for dead?” Rory interrupted. “Yes, we know all about that. You shouldn’t ever cross a powerful sorcerer.”

“But… but, for the safety of our liege, for the protection of—”

“The Golden Doll?” Rory loved cutting this guy off. Better than that, watching the man gulp down his nervousness at hearing reference to the treasure in Lord Wordsly’s possession was making this heist seem to open itself up to Rory. “Yes, we know all about it. Hand it over, and we’ll keep Master Charsbic from using you and your little troop here for tinder.”

“Rafule Charsbic couldn’t harm me if you held a dagger to his neck and another to his nethers,” claimed a defiant voice from within the cart. Shortly after, the large, silk-bedecked form of Lord Byron Wordsly wrestled itself from the comparatively cramped confines of his carriage. He appeared as if to be wearing clothing stitched together from a dozen different fabrics, all of colors that couldn’t possibly be found in nature—several bolts likely because the man could not possibly fit into anything aside from a blanket that was not particularly tailored to his massive proportions. However, where his blubber failed him, his voice and the look in his devilish eyes gave him a presence that granted him some intimidation. “Isn’t that right, nephew?”

Rory felt is jaw drop, a very bad tell if they were playing cards right now. He tipped his head towards Rafule and whispered, “Nephew?”

“Um…” Rafule was silent for a moment, his pale cheeks blushing. “That’s kind of how I got the job…”

“I’m gonna gut you!” Bozius growled through pressed teeth. He was trying to keep his voice down, and was spitting with every word. “I’m gonna beat you within an inch of your life, and then I’m gonna gut you, kid!”

“Bozy,” Rory whispered, “nobody’s gutting anyone. Rafule, you didn’t think this bit of information was important at all?”

“Now I do, I guess…”

Rory huffed out a breath, composed himself, and looked out over the guards at the nobleman. “Uncle Byron, you lost any protection you may have had when you chained your nephew to a tree!”

“It was mercy!” the pompous noble balked. “You rescued him, didn’t you?”

“He’s got ya there, Rory,” Bozius leaned in to add.

“Shut up,” Rory hissed.

“It seems that everything worked itself out,” Wordsly decided. “Lieutenant Mackle, if you will please escort our guests off the Parkway?”

“Yes, m’lord,” the man who started the dealings with Rory earlier replied, stepping forth with several others to “escort” Rory and his friends to their demise. Bozius was already drawing swords.

“Do you have any idea who you’re dealing with, Wordsly?” came a new voice. Looking over, Rory saw a line of black-clad men standing on the side wall of the Queen’s Parkway. All of the men wore black masks, save for the man who was speaking. His long, dark blonde hair was streaming in the breeze, and across his face was painted a spread out red hand.

“Oh damn…” Rory cursed to himself.

“Sullivan,” Bozius stated, recognizing the bandit that both he and Rory had experienced several run-ins with in the past. Sullivan was pretty much Bozius’s way of seconding Rory’s oh damn.

“The Cache of the Hand!” Lieutenant Mackle shouted. “Men, at the ready!” The guards quickly gave up on Rory, Bozius, and Rafule, and expended all their focus on the newly-arrived bandits.

“I wouldn’t be so quick to turn away if I were you, lieutenant,” Sullivan advised in mock-seriousness. “For that is Roderick Casbury you show your back to!”

“The pirate?” Mackle asked, confused.

“Couldn’t you tell?” Sullivan replied. “Silk shirt, ridiculous bandana that he chooses to wear as a scarf, knee-high boots. Not so dangerous with a sword, but leave him alone with your wife for five minutes…”

“I didn’t know she was your wife, Sullivan!” Rory piped in.

“He never does,” Bozius added.

“Bozius Bozinius, is that you?” Sullivan smiled, to which Bozius responded with a snarl. “Oh, I’m sorry, you don’t like your name being out there, right? I totally forgot… Bozius Bozinius.”

“How’s the leg, Sully?” Bozius retorted, to which Sullivan’s smile became a grimace. The last time they all met, Bozius slashed his sword deep into Sullivan’s hamstring, practically crippling the man. Obviously, time heals all wounds.

“Hardly notice it, Bozy,” Sullivan responded. “Was that you? I completely forgot.” Sullivan’s gaze quickly snapped over to the nobleman’s cart, into which Wordsly was struggling to get back. “Where do you think your off to, fat man? It’s rude to leave in the middle of a conversation.”

Responding to a faint hand wave from Sullivan, several of the Cache of the Hand bandits swarmed in, leapt wholly over the guards—footmen and cavalry alike—and encircled the carriage. Another took perch atop the wagon. Wordsly’s shaking hands held onto the door knob as if it might grant him salvation. More bandits entered the Parkway from the opposite side, and Rory was quickly starting to dislike the odds.

“I see you got your hands on the mage, Roderick,” Sullivan called out, staring daggers at Rafule. “Are we going to have any trouble this time, boy?”

“Rory, I’ve got nothing,” Rafule whispered.

“They don’t know that,” Rory replied. “Just stay calm, we’ll get out of this.”

“Dragon Peak,” Bozius suggested.

“Really?” Rory was taken aback. “I’m hearing this from you?”

“It’s all we got,” Bozius replied.

“What’s Dragon Peak?” Rafule asked nervously.

Dragon Peak is one of the highest points in the Crescent Mountains. Several years prior, Rory and Bozius were on the run from a small militia, having acquired from a nearby mining town a large payment for iron ore. Needless to say, the townsfolk were angered, and spent all their available energy and resources and energy hunting Rory and Bozius down. Even the mayor joined the hunt, and was whisked along in a carriage similar in proportion to what Lord Wordsly was currently riding around in. Trapped on Dragon Peak with surrender seeming to be the only realistic option, Rory and Bozius decided instead to charge the horse-drawn carried full on, leap up onto and over it, take the horses’ reigns, and head away at full speed down the trail away from Dragon Peak. With the mayor as a screaming hostage within the cart, the militia refused to strike out at the thieves. Eventually, Rory and Bozius sent the horses charging away down one trail and themselves escaped down another, with their loot but without their original horses.

“I’d hate to lose these horses,” Rory lamented.

“What are their names?” Bozius asked.

“Thunder and Lighting,” Rory replied.

“And which one are you on?”

“Thunder?”

“I’m pretty sure you’ll get over the loss,” Bozius assured him.

“What’s Dragon Peak?” Rafule asked again.

“It’s going to be hard with the kid,” Rory added.

“Then we leave him,” Bozius responded.

“What?!” Rafule shrieked.

“What are you idiots plotting over there?” Sullivan asked, nodding to his men to approach them.

The moment of truth was fast approaching. Wordsly’s entourage was confused and likely scared, the Cache of the Hand was scattered but still strong in numbers, and a few of the bandits were slowly approaching Rory, Bozius, and Rafule. Every passing moment reduced their chances of escape, and right now the element of surprise was their only weapon.

“Rafule, if you don’t jump when the opportunity presents itself, I don’t know if we’ll be able to save you,” Rory said. “So be ready.”

“What?” Rafule responded fearfully, but his yipe quickly became a scream—that had the added effect of taking the approaching bandits aback—as Rory and Bozius kicked Thunder and Lighting into a full-on charge at Wordsly’s cart. Some of the lord’s retinue jumped out of the way, others were ran under. The bandits of the Cache of the Hand that encircled the carried flipped out of the way—apparently you had to be a former acrobat to join their ranks—and as Thunder and Lightning closed in, Rory and Bozius leapt atop the carriage. The horses forked around either side and continued on.

Swept up by the confusion of everything going on around him, Rafule remained atop Thunder, who continued galloping on past all the mayhem. Wordsly desperately grabbed at the passing horse, but his fumbling hands couldn’t find purchase.

“Nephew,” pleaded the desperate lord, “don’t leave me!”

Rory and Bozius had a more pressing issue to contend with: one bandit stood atop the carriage.

“One of us should get to the horses,” Bozius stated, taking a step.

“Right you are,” Rory agreed, slipping gingerly past the confused bandit. “Good plan!”

“I meant me!” Bozius growled, drawing a sword and entering combat with the bandit. The black-clad fighter was swift, but armed only with two small daggers. Still, with little space to work with, the better coordinated and more agile acrobatic bandit had the advantage. Bozius was quickly on his back, desperately trying to block and dodge incoming blows.
Suddenly, with Rory taking the reigns of the two horses assigned pulling duties, the carriage made an abrupt and bumpy leap forward. Jostled, the Cache of the Hand bandit lost footing, and Bozius took this opportunity for a quick kick to his opponent’s crotch and a continuing sweep of his leg to push the man over to the road below. Bozius pulled himself together and joined Rory to guide the horses.

“That worked!” Rory smiled, handing some reigns to Bozius. “Again!”

“Don’t go poppin’ the cork just yet, Rory,” Bozius warned, looking over his shoulder at the mob that was amassing to chase them down.

At first, it appeared that Wordsly’s men and the Cache of the Hand were battling, which was good news for this escape plan. Then, however, their actions seemed to coordinate, as both parties gave chase to the fleeing horse cart. At this time, Rafule was turning about to return to Rory and Bozius.

“What an idiot!” Bozius cursed. “What is that boy doing? He was free!”

“I think he wants to help,” Rory considered.

“He was helping! He was no longer in the way! I’m not dying for this kid, Rory!”

Some deal must have been struck between Sullivan and Wordsly, because the approaching horses had both guards and bandits on them. Meanwhile, Rafule was also closing in. Escape was within reach, but this boy’s actions could ruin it all. Still, the more pressing matter was to handle to the angry and armed men that were quickly catching up to the carriage. Rory and Bozius both had a tight grip on their swords, ready for combat at any moment.

As Rafule closed in, he raised on hand to the sky, and in his palm appeared a small but quite noticeable flame. As he arced around the carriage, this small display was apparently enough to stop the chasing bandits and guards in their tracks. Rafule continued his arc and caught up alongside the carriage.

“I thought you didn’t have anything left,” Bozius mentioned.

“Like Rory said,” Rafule responded, “I had a little nap.”

“But I thought that was only good for small magic,” Rory asked.

“They don’t know that,” Rafule smiled.

With that, the trio headed off into the Crescent Mountains. They managed to get Lightning back along the way, but that wasn’t the most important prize: securely within the carriage was a large doll made of solid gold!





Thursday, April 5, 2012

Chapter 3





Chapter 3

THE ABYSMAL DARKNESS was starting to play on his mind. The space was beyond the span of his arms, yet not beyond the reach of his body’s full length, but it felt like it was fluctuating around him. As if his cell were the gullet of some large stone beast, the muscles of the throat contracting to pull him down, where now he found himself at the threshold of the creature’s stomach. Rory was positive that he could even smell the putrid bile of the hellspawn that had swallowed him.

Through a hair-thin crack somewhere far above him, Rory could make out a faint sliver of light, but only occasionally. Perhaps this, too, was a hallucination, but he had to believe it truly was the top; it provided what little hope he had that there was an outside not far from where he stood in the murky depths of his prison, and this hope gave way to the faintest glimmer of escape, of the possibility that sanctuary was within his grasp if he could merely reach up and take hold of it.

Alas, all his attempts were failures. The slippery walls of the cell’s craw allowed him no purchase, and despite his determination, Rory never accomplished a climb of more than a few feet, typically resulting in a crash into the puddle-soaked floor below him. He was wet, he was dirty, and he was feeling the beginnings of his sanity slipping away. Never had Roderick Casbury known a fear like this. Surely he had flirted with the notion of being afraid in the past, but nothing like this suffocating terror that was slowly slipping its dripping tendrils about him. Perhaps this was his captor’s plan, to leave Rory in solitary darkness until he finally cracked into a wretched shell of himself. If only Rory could remember how he ended up here in the first place…


* * *


“WE’RE IN IT now,” Bozius cursed as the trio peered down the bustling corridor of Summer Avenue, the main drag through Appleton Lows.

“Nonsense, Bozy,” Rory patted his friend on the back. “This is what you wanted, right? We’re here!”

“I wanted the Heights,” Bozius repeated, staring daggers at his friend. “Not the Lows! Does this kid even know where he’s going?”

Appleton was at one time no more than a small depot and trading post along the road that Rory and Bozius traveled to reach this destination. However, a major paved road across Vimiland known as the Queen’s Parkway (after some queen or another from some time before Rory cared enough to pay attention insisted that her king build her a route that granted her quick access across the country. Several such roads were fashioned, with the Queen’s being the first) was built that just so happened to connect Appleton with many other towns along its route. An interesting fact about this particular section of the highway was that it was built in the fashion of a bridge going over the terrain, for Appleton and the forest near it sat in a bit of a valley ringed by the Bumperton Hills, more affectionally referred to as the Bumps. The rolling terrain made for a most exhausting headache in planning for the engineers in charge of building the Queen’s Parkway, and by the time the project reached this small valley where the workers could finally just pave straight across reasonably flat ground, the Powers that Be at that particular time insisted on an engineering masterpiece. So the road through this region of Vimiland actually goes over the valley and forest.

As it turned out, the people of Appleton weren’t to be cut off. As the construction project brought a boom to the town, the people of Appleton took it upon themselves to build up to the towering road. The result: a massive hill was created, expensive plots of land were sold on it, and the town of Appleton went from its meager beginnings of being a simple rest-stop to being a full-fledged metropolis of sorts. This also effectively split the town in two: Appleton Heights and Appleton Lows. The Lows weren’t all bad, but were squalor compared to the Heights. Where the Heights had ritz and glamour, the Lows had pollution and trash. Where the Heights had sights and a vibrant nightlife, the Lows had pollution and trash. Where the Heights had beautiful people doing beautiful things, the Lows had more pollution and trash; fun bars and neighborhoods, too, but mostly just pollution and trash.

“Can we get up the hill and start the drinking and sexing already?” Bozius insisted.

“Not so fast, my ox of a friend,” Rory responded. “There will be none of that until we have liberated the Golden Doll from Lord Wordsly. Then you can work your way up and down the hill through every trampy nightingale your bursting loins can handle. Until then, we follow the astute tracking skills of our good fellow, Rafule Charsbic here.” Rory took this opportunity to nudge Rafule with his elbow. “So, Rafule, should we lock you back to that tree, what’s going on?”

Rafule jumped out of his thoughts in response to Rory’s elbow in his ribs, but managed to regain his composure. “Nothing… nothing to worry about, Mr. Rory. Just, um… up this here road to the Heights and then on to Lord Wordsly’s place.”

“Mr. Rory?” Rory asked with a raised eyebrow. “I’m not your nanny, Rafule, don’t call me that.”

“Mr. Casbury?” Rafule tried.

“I’m not a school marm or your friend’s dad, either,” Rory became flustered. “What is this? You weren’t doing this when you were chained up back there.”

“You saved me, Sir Roderick, I owe you so much,” Rafule attempted.

“Do I look like a knight? For Pete’s sake, kid, lighten up,” Rory insisted. “Not that I’m opposed to knighthood, but knight’s are all about broadswords and white horses. I’m more of a rapier-and-mudder guy myself.”

“But you carry a short sword.” Rafule acknowledged. “And your horses seem like strong stock…”

“Details, dear boy, details. I will have a rapier eventually, just you wait. And, yes, okay, a nice horse isn’t a bad asset. Let me tell you, Rafule, the ladies love a man on horseback.”

“Not that we’d know…” grouchy Bozius grumbled.

“And thus the epic saga continues!” Rory punched in. “So, Rafule, on you go. Lead the way. Plunder awaits.”

Despite how many times in his life Rory had laid eyes upon the Queen’s Parkway as it made its way like a bridge over the valley, he was always surprised that it didn’t come across as an eyesore. It really was a marvelous piece of engineering, though the time and money required to maintain it meant that the other, ground-level roads going through the Crescent Valley were wholesomely ignored unless tended to by the towns and villages sprinkled along the way. Still, the Parkway was a fast means of travel between Castletop and the larger cities of Vimiland, especially when it came to traveling through the rolling foothills of the Crescent Mountains. But here at the man-made hill that was Appleton, the fastest way around was to actually know where you were going.

As the trio turned several corners and looped around a few neighborhoods in both the Lows and Heights of the city, it was becoming painfully obvious that their guide truly had not the slightest notion of where he was or where he wanted to be. Finally, as Rafule stepped slowly into an intersection, Rory found himself grabbing the boy before a passing carriage ran him under.

“Thank you, thank you…” Rafule muttered, breathless from the shock. “That was a close one…”

“Rafule, you’re wasting my time,” Rory noted.

“And mine!” Bozius growled.

“Good boy, do walk with me,” Rory insisted, gliding his hand around Rafule’s shoulder and leading him down the street, away from the crowd. “Let us find a nice, quiet place to talk and sort this all out. Ah, yes, here, this dark alley should do fine!”

“No, wait!” Rafule pleaded.

“You don’t know where you’re going, do you?” Rory asked.

“I never said I did!” Rafule shrieked, seemingly holding back tears. “I said I had a street name! A street name!”

“Then why haven’t you led us to that street?” Bozius insisted.

“I’ve never been here before,” the boy replied. “How should I know where it is?”

“Rafule,” Rory continued, “why don’t you just say the name of the street and let us locate it?”

“Cuz then you won’t need me anymore,” Rafule blubbered, and water truly began welling in his eyes. “Then where will I go?”

“Are you kidding me?” Bozius stepped back and eyed his friend with daggers. “Rory, if this is the nearest I come to a woman today, I swear someone is gonna die!”

“Stop it, Bozy, you’ll scare our poor companion,” Rory replied, trying with all his will to keep from laughing at the boy’s expense. “Rafule, we’re in this together. Bozy’s got the muscle, I got the brains, and you got that whole whipping-around-fireballs thing that you do. Let us find the street, get you some dinner and a nap, and then we can all get what we want.”

Rafule stood in silence for a moment, sniffled back a few rushing tears, and wiped his eyes with the long sleeves of his white robes. He stood up a bit straighter, though his eyes remained firmly on the ground.

“Cherry Bush,” the boy muttered.

“Come again?” Rory strained to hear him.

“Cherry Bush Road,” Rafule repeated. “That’s where Lord Wordsly’s home in Appleton is. I thought I could find it and I can’t.”

“What kind of fool name for a street is that?” Bozius cut in. “I never heard of it.”

“That’s because there aren’t any hookers there,” Rory responded under his breath. “Come, I’m familiar with it. It’s not far nor is it a very long street, we should be there quickly.”

“Cherry Bush?” Bozius hissed. “Who names these things? All a guy ever wants is a little piece of action at a decent price, and instead goes chasing little dolls around town…”


* * *


CHERRY BUSH ROAD indeed was a short street, lost in the middle of an exclusive, compact, and confusing neighborhood in the center of Appleton Heights. Not a single set of parallel roads was to be found amongst the winding paths that snaked their way throughout the area. If Appleton were to ever come under siege by outside forces, this quaint little section of high society would stand invincible as the invading army would never make its way through without tangling up with itself. Upon finally finding Cherry Bush, it was a matter of picking out Lord Byron Wordsly’s home. The houses here were all quite huge and sitting on immense pieces of property, protected by gates and private patrolling guards. It was up to Rafule to notice something familiar before someone realized the party didn’t belong in these parts.

“If he was just attacked, he’s probably got extra guards out,” Bozius considered. “Let’s look for that.”

It was sensible. Rory and Bozius stumbled upon their new friend just that morning, and Wordsly was likely on edge from the attack. The Cache of the Hand likely knew that the nobleman was transporting something important; Wordsly was likely questioning his own security measures. The golden doll was on its way into the hands of a duke at Castletop, and it was likely a secret delivery since Wordsly wasn’t traveling with a large entourage. Still, every guard on his premises would probably be making rounds now that their wealthy employer was nearly slain. The golden doll must be worth a fortune, Rory thought to himself, counting bags of money in his head. Every debt could be erased…

“That might be it…” Rafule guessed, pointing a pale finger at a manor down the way. Scraps of wood and bits of cloth littered the road outside the ivy-covered walls that protected the estate, and four guards took up posts at the gate. Servants were racing out of the property to pick up the last remnants of debris, and each looked quite dreadful, as if they were being worked harder than usual.

“Well, if that ain’t a clean-up crew…” Bozy postulated.

“Good work, Rafule,” Rory congratulated, slapping the frail boy on his bony back. “Now let’s see to getting you that nap!”


* * *


THE BROKEN SPOKE was a low-down, dirty, vile tavern of ill-repute. The light was dim, the tables dusty, the piano out of tune, and any patron who received beer in a clean glass could count himself amongst the luckiest people to sample this establishment’s wares. All kinds of outcasts and outlaws frequented the Broken Spoke, from thieves to murderers to tax evaders. The ale was warm, the food was spoiled, and the women were dirty in every sense of the word.

Bozius Bozinius was in heaven!

Rafule Charsbic was not.

“Can’t we get a room someplace…” Rafule pushed away a substance on the table that was likely part of the meal from last night… hopefully. “Cleaner?”

“You’re free to open up your purse and go elsewhere,” Rory chided. “Up on the Heights they’ve got some lovely hotels, some of the best in all of Vimiland. Room service, champagne, fine dining… a room might only cost you, um, four handfuls of gold coins. Do you have 300 bobbies on you?” Bobby was the slang term for currency, as each gold coin had King Robert’s face engraved on it. Rafule simply looked down in shame. “Listen, dear boy, this is the best place we can be! We don’t stand out here. Well… you kind of do, what with your bleached white clean robes and all, but no one is ever going to notice that we’re here. I suggest you go upstairs and get some sleep, so that in a couple hours you can do that little spiraling ray of flame for us and we can snatch that precious prize! Victory is within reach, Rafule! Can you smell it?”

“I can’t smell anything but the odor of this place! It feels like we’re taking refuge in a chamber pot!” the boy replied. “And how can I sleep? Bozius is up there in bed with two women, and I think one of them hissed at me…”

“She probably likes you,” Rory said, taking a sip from his mug. “Oh, all right, you are rather precious for now. Here, take this and tell the innkeeper you would like a room.” Rafule left with the coins Rory handed him. “And bring me back the change!”

Rory kicked his feet up onto the table and leaned back in his chair, taking a hefty draught from his mug. This night’s score would be relatively easy. Sure, Lord Wordsly’s estate was crawling with guards, but the master of the house was a fool for having them all on alert all day long. They would be tired, frustrated, and off their game; all this added up to making them less of an obstacle and more of a nuisance. With the additional fire power provided by Rafule, Rory’s party would be in and out before the first flame was put out. A hefty sized doll made of solid gold would be in his possession—technically, it would be in Bozius’s possession, for Rory had to be mindful of his back—and available on the darkest black market before breakfast. Rory could actually settle down somewhere, likely Octaria. But that was getting ahead of himself…

“Roderick Casbury?”

Rory jumped to his feet—nearly knocking the table over to its side—and reached for the sword at his hip… but instead found nothing more than his belt!

“Damn!” he cursed himself. “Why do I always unpack everything every time we get a room?” He turned slowly towards the source of his accuser, being mindful to keep his sword-hip out of a direct line-of-sight.

“Roderick Casbury, bite my ass, it is you!” shouted the busty, leather-clad brunette that stepped out of Rory’s rum-fogged memory and into the smoky space before him. “Tingle my nethers, I can’t believe I’m looking at you! Come here!”

Without pause for welcome, the voluptuous harlot wrapped her arms around Rory, grabbed two handfuls-worth of the back of his breeches, pulled him as close as her hefty, high-cleft, half-exposed chest would allow, and drove her tongue into the deepest recesses of his throat. Surprised but not at all put off by her aggression, Rory took his time sliding free of her grasp.

“Mmm, Starla, hello!” Rory spoke, staring into the bright, smiling face of the hungry woman before him. “What are you doing here?”

“In the Broken Spoke?” she continued to smile, all the while grasping for whatever parts of Rory’s body she could get her hands on. “I got fired from the last gig… well, it burned down! Same thing, really…”

“Odd, that three of your houses would burn down…” Rory was suddenly aware of how warm the tavern was.

“Four, sweetie,” Starla giggled. “And counting!” Starla laughed quite heartily, and Rory forced a nervous giggle to match. “But enough about me, baby, more about you. What’s it been? Two years?”

“Since we saw each other?” Rory smiled, playing dumb. “Well, let’s see, when did the Lonesome Hermit crumble into a pile of ashes?”

“Oh, I don’t know. After four they just all blur together into one red hot brothel!” Starla’s smile—although belonging to a psychopath—was infectious. “You staying the night, Roderick?”

“Got a room upstairs with Bozy—”

“Bozius is here?” Starla asked. “I thought I heard one of the girls being asked to call their john a horse or something like that… I just didn’t believe you two could possibly be here!”

“The odds!” Rory shrugged his shoulders in nervous anticipation, while he scanned the room for an exit strategy.

“I gotta have it, Roderick!” Starla demanded, grabbing Rory by the collar and pulling him in for another deep, wet kiss. Rory was stunned, but his concerns seemed to quickly melt away every time his tongue was slapped by hers. “Tonight’s on the house, lover! Let’s set this place afire!”

“Let’s not and say we did?” Rory responded coyly.

Starla laughed. “Oh, Roderick Casbury, I hope you weren’t planning on sleeping tonight!”


* * *


THE SUN WAS up. Not merely up as if it were only dawn, but bearing down on the earth from its perch at high noon. Rory crept out of the Broken Spoke with a cold chicken leg and mug in one hand, his pants in another. So much for a moonlit assault on the fortress that was the estate of Lord Wordsly.

“You want to put Little Rory away so we can get this show on the road?” Bozius said from the stoop, not lifting his eyes from the knife he was currently sharpening. His tone was even, if not light; after all, he started the night off with two prostitutes and likely went through several more. His patience was probably renewed.

“I thought we were striking at midnight?” Rafule stopped his pacing in the dirt to inquire about.

Rory merely handed his chicken leg and ale mug to the boy and began to slip his breeches back on. He felt as if his legs would buckle under him at any moment, and quickly made his way to the stoop, taking his breakfast back from Rafule and sitting next to Bozius.

“Little Rory won’t be looking for much excitement anytime soon…” Rory muttered between sips of ale and a sigh of relief and satisfaction.

“Starla’s here?” Bozius asked.

“Yup.”

“Thought I heard somebody calling you a horse.”

“Yup.”

“What about the plan?” Rafule asked. “I thought you wanted to go after the Golden Doll last night!”

“First of all,” Rory began, pointing his half-eaten chicken leg at Rafule. “If you keep on shouting about a Golden anything around here, you’re going to wake up every thief and bandit within earshot, and then they’ll all be after our score. Second of all, did you sleep?”

“Barely…”

“But you slept? Good. Now you got all your… stuff…”

“Magic juice,” Bozius cut in.

“I’m not calling it that,” Rory retorted.

“What would you call it?” Bozius raised an eyebrow.

“I don’t know… Magic Points, maybe,” Rory considered. “Or Spell Power or something. But not magic juice; that sounds so childish.”

“And magic points sounds more sophisticated?” Bozius retorted. “How do you keep track of these points? If you have more points than another wizard, do you automatically win?”

Rory paused for a long moment, chewing on some gristle while he thought. “If I thought there was any strength left in me, I would stab you with this chicken bone.” He turned to Rafule. “Anyway, you’re all rested up, so you can start tossing fireballs about willy nilly, correct?”

“Yes, but…” Rafule began.

“But what?” Rory sucked the last meat from his chicken leg. “Really, boy, what is it with the whining?”

“He’s been like this all morning,” Bozius stated.

“How did you put up with it?”

“Alcohol,” Bozius replied, to Rory’s understanding nod. “Lots and lots of alcohol.”

“Lord Wordsly left this morning!” Rafule shouted, tugging on his curly locks.

“What?!” Rory snapped to his feet, anger and shock giving him reserved strength.

“I tried telling you!” Rafule added.

“You came to my room?”

“To the door, yes.”

“And you mentioned this news?”

“Yes.”

“From the other side of the door?”

“Yes…”

“Did you hear a woman in the room moaning as if the very fibers of the universe might split apart unless she experienced another climax?”

“Yes?”

“Then I wasn’t paying attention to you!”

“Should have gone in,” Bozius said, venom dripping from his voice. “Or at least came and got me.”

“I did!” Rafule insisted.

“Same scenario?” Bozius inquired.

“Kind of,” Rafule responded.

“Same result,” Bozius shouldered his way past the boy. “I wasn’t paying attention to what was happening outside my room.”

“But you came outside!” Rafule replied, confused and frustrated.

Bozius stopped and stared at the boy for a long, quiet moment. “I was done.”

Rafule grunted some unintelligible nonsense, and began pacing and tugging at his hair again, kicking up dirt in his wake.

“Oh stop it, you’ll mess up your fancy pajamas,” Rory grabbed him. “I can’t expect a virgin to understand.”

“I’m not a virgin,” Rafule stated weakly, trying to puff out his meek chest. What little conviction he had was deflated by Bozy’s uproarious laughter.

“Sure you are,” Rory responded, feigning sympathy as best as he could. “So you know that Wordsly left. Do you know where he went?”

“Well, I went this morning to case his estate…” Rafule began.

“Okay, walked around Appleton by yourself, that was stupid.” Bozius cut in. “Go on…”

Rafule eyed Bozius, but flinched and looked away when the muscle of the trio growled at him. “Anyway, he packed his cart up and headed up hill, I’m guessing to the Queen’s Way.”

“Castletop,” Rory assumed.

“Damn,” Bozius spat.

“So?” Rafule asked. “Does this mean we’re going after him?”

Rory and Bozius looked at each other long and quiet. Bozius was shaking his head, but Rory merely shrugged.

“So, Castletop, huh?” the self-proclaimed pirate asked. “What’s the worse that can happen?”